We visited four gogos in the community of Molweni in the Valley of a Thousand Hills, and we felt so privileged to be guests in their homes and to be granted such an intimate view into the lives of these courageous women. All of the grannies were caring for grandchildren who had been orphaned by the pandemic, foregoing the relaxation that was meant to accompany their "golden years".
As I entered the home of the first gogo and took in the familiar smells and images, it was as if I was transported back two years ago. I could suddenly vividly recall the feelings of admiration, humility, and impotence of the home-visits on which I accompanied the nurses at that time. On the wall was a large framed photograph of her adult daughter, visibly within the terrible clutches of AIDS. Gogo had cared for her dying daughter and then her son, the latter passing on just 3 weeks ago. Now, looking after her granddaughter presented a new set of challenges. For example, she wasn't sure how to deal with some of the questions that she was being asked, such as "Why did mom die? Am I going to die too?", and "why don't the other children need to take medicine? Why am I different?". While she said that she was receiving advice on dealing with these questions from a counselor at her church, she still found it very difficult to handle these issues. Her granddaughter was currently being cared for at the Hillcrest AIDS Centre's respite unit, where she was recovering from a bout with illness and awaiting some tests from the hospital before starting anti-retrovirals. Gogo was too poor to be able to visit the child daily - she could not afford the R5 (~$0.70 CAD) for the taxi ride to Hillcrest. She was looking forward to her child coming home soon. After completing the questionnaire, we thanked her, and left her with several blankets for the winter.
The next two gogos that we visited presented stories equally as heartwrenching. For the sake of brevity, I will only recount the story of the final gogo that we visited. This granny was caring for several grandchildren. She was very poor. One salient storyline in her situation was that the mothers of her sons' children had abandoned the children to her care. To make matters worse, these women would continue to collect child-care grants for the children, so that Gogo couldn't collect the grant herself! This has happened not once, but three times! She was an incredible sweet woman, and embodied so many of the features of the strong, resilient grandmothers who former UN Special Envoy to HIV/AIDS in Africa, Stephen Lewis, rightfully acknowledges as "the true heroes of the continent of Africa". Learning their stories and being allowed such an intimate peak into their lives was an immense privilege that neither Kristine nor I will soon forget.
Kristine joins Sister Cwengi and Besda, a home-based carer, on a visit to the home of a granny.
Ilan with Cwengi and Besda.
A home-based carer with some children outside the home of a granny.
Kristine & Besda, a home-based carer, prepare to travel in the back of the "bakkie".
One of the Gogos with two of her grandsons.
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